In my high school health class I watched a bunch of those videos that are supposed to scare you away from hard drugs like heroin, crystal meth, and crack cocaine. From my experience, I thought they were pretty effective. I went through high school and now most of college without doing drugs at all. Instead, I watched my favorite player, Derrick Rose, play (sometimes) for my favorite basketball team, the Chicago Bulls.
In that senior year health class I watched the crack-cocaine guy from Chicago talk about how the drug controls his life, and how you’re forever chasing that first high from that drug. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, I thought. If you know you’re not going to get back to that first high, then what the hell are you doing? Hahaha. Well, Mr. Crack smoker, you and I are a lot more alike than I had previously thought. That’s when I realized Derrick Rose was my personal crack cocaine addiction.
My Derrick Rose Love through the life of a troubled Drug Addict:
2008-09- The bulls, after years of being horrible, and then average, get some stud out of the draft named Derrick Rose. He even said that if his hometown team didn’t draft him that he didn’t really want to play in the NBA. Well, they did, by miraculously winning the lottery in order to get the number one pick. Despite the 1.7 percent chance that the Bulls had of picking that high, they were able to land the apple of their eye, Derrick Rose. Rose wins the Rookie of the year award.
This is when I first took some alcohol out of my parents’ liquor cabinet. Early stages, taking swigs out of some nasty alcohol that I’d never seen before. Tasted awful, but looked cool.
2010-11- After a few years of being average yet competitive with Vinny Del Negro, the Bulls front office decided to get in a fist fight with him (have they fought with anyone else since?) and brought in Tom Thibodeau. The bulls went 62-20 to gain home court advantage throughout the playoffs in the eastern conference and Derrick Rose, who averaged 25 points, nearly 8 assists, and 4 rebounds, won the league’s MVP. Things were going well. For my generation of Bulls' fans, this was our 95-96 Bulls, this was our everything.
My first hit of the crack cocaine. Since 2008, things had progressed but weren’t all that serious. Smoking weed, drinking liquor, hey maybe a few pills here and there. Then boom, that 10-11 season. Number one seed and the MVP award. That first hit felt so good. I dove head first into that horrible crack cocaine, and I think I know what night it was. The whole year I was getting ready to pick up that pipe, but it wasn’t until a special May night that I made the decision to never look back and became a victim of Derrick Rose.
What I wasn’t informed of was the horrible withdrawal and hangover you get in the immediate days following this sort of drug use.
That wasn’t fun.
After winning that first game they lost the next four. But to say that I didn’t take another hit after game 1 would be a lie, I mean come on.
Yeah, give me that pipe.
Side note- Best part of that video is actually Reggie Miller saying “How IS the Bulls gonna score?” Singular, plural, who cares? TNT announcers who were really good at basketball, but aren’t great at analyzing basketball, or talking in general, are my favorite.
Okay, I promise, last YouTube video from the glory days. Game 1 of the playoffs. Your reminder as well that Keith Bogans was the starting shooting guard on that team. Thibs is the best.
2011-12- About that time again. This was going to be our year. Last year, we were young. Second year under my man Thibs, Rose is back, the whole core is back. Bulls once again locked up the number one seed in a lock out year. Derrick battled with a few injuries, which weren’t a big deal and have never become a big deal, but still averaged a cool 22 points and 8 assists in the 39 games he started. We just needed him for the playoffs. And then, you know what happened. I’m not going to try to Tom Rinaldi you on this one and act like the kid he’s talking about that had a terminal illness in his College Gameday short ended up making it. Derrick Rose tore his goddamn ACL.
Up 12 with 1:20 left. You can watch that clip if you want, I can’t. I tried to light up that pipe a lot the rest of that series. Omer Asik not looking at the rim when he shot free throws didn’t help in game 6 to lose to the 8 seeded 76ers. The reality was that I had become hooked on Derrick Rose and now I needed a fix. Panic mode. And to make it worse…
This dork was like my mom coming in my room telling me that being hooked on a hard drug was bad. Yeah dude? Get out of my face.
2012-13- Derrick Rose misses the whole season while the Bulls play their butts off for Thibs and actually make the city proud. They, of course, found a way to beat Lebron in one game before being demolished. Whenever I think of that series I remember the refs being unfair in games 2-5 but I have absolutely no evidence of that and I think I was the only one that got that vibe so I’ll leave that here. Nate Robinson helped me out as a substitute drug a little bit that year. This was sort of like when your friend that’s addicted to chew gets coffee grind pouches and thinks they’re actually going to work.
Still not the worst days to come of my Derrick Rose addiction. I was just going to smoke every now and then, I’d get that high back. I still loved that good good Rose. Derrick Rose getting isolated from the “Top Point Guards” conversation was me being isolated from my family for my drug use.
My Uncle Terry loved telling me at this time that he was done, that’d he never be the same. That’s when I sort of stopped liking my Uncle Terry. Just looked down and saw that I’m at 1,000 words, or in other words, have lost the attention of anyone born after 1985, and I think I lost most people born before 1985 at the title. I’ll fast forward.
Where am I now?
After continuing to struggle with my Rose addiction, I have still, like the crack head from Chicago, not returned to my high. I have reached the point of no return in my relationship with Derrick Rose. I got close in the Conference Semifinals against the Cavs in 2015, but it didn’t happen. I’ve thought about quitting many of times. I thought I was done after the midseason injury last year. I thought it was all over for us. But then I realized, it will never be over for us, Derrick. We’re going to do this, together.
We should have just smoked a Beasley in that 2008 draft, that would’ve made things quicker. The comparison is also faulty, Derrick Rose is way worse than crack-cocaine. But who am I kidding, Derrick Rose isn’t who he once was. I’m just a miserable addict who will never feel that feeling again. I’m done.
Hold the fucking phone. Someone pass me the pipe.