Darrelle Revis, a former Tampa Bay Buccaneer, New England Patriot, and current New York Jet, is under fire. He’s under fire because, well, he’s not very good at football anymore. After signing a five year, 70 million dollar contract to return to the Jets, the team that originally drafted him, Revis’ play on the field has been uninspiring and unimpressive.
The cornerback’s play is only reminiscent of his former pro bowl, defensive player of the year self that dubbed him the name “Revis Island.” The nickname insinuated that wide receivers being guarded by Revis were on a metaphorical island, and one that wide receivers did not wish to visit.
Now I’ll attempt to answer the question that all fans start asking once their multi million dollar corner back fails to intercept a pass until the last game in a 16 game season. What the hell are we paying him for? Well, they have their gripe. But what I’m here to tell you is that Revis, formerly Revis Island, is a better activist than football player. See, his alleged demise is much more symbolic and important than you worthless football fans (s/o Meryl) could ever realize.
Here’s the deal: Darelle Revis, and I think this is pretty clear, is one of the most important environmental advocates in the 21st century. Let’s look at the facts ladies and gentlemen. A man who was once considered the best of the best at his craft is now being “embarrassed” week in and week out on the football field. Is he though? Or is it planned? Well it’s not just his decline in play that Jets fans are angry about. It’s also the effort. Did anyone consider that he’s not trying? The Cleveland Browns and a former quarterback playing wide receiver torching him may be the first sign.
Revis Island is no longer. But that’s not the only Island that no longer exists. Year after year, our planet gets hotter and hotter. As it gets hotter, the sea levels rise and force once flourishing islands to disappear. It’s one of the inconvenient truths facing our planet. Now I’m not here to lecture you on an “issue” that will allow Midwestern high school baseball players to feel their hands while at the plate in the coming years. I am, however, here to connect you to the truth, no matter what side you’re on.
Eric Heiden, a former speed skater and an Olympian, once said, “Sports and Politics do not mix.” Eric Heiden is a dumb person that I didn’t know until I looked up “sports and politics quotes” in the Google search engine. In Revis’ case, I think there is more mixing than we may have ever previously thought possible.
After winning a super bowl with the New England Patriots in 2014, many expected Revis to return to the team in order to pursue more rings. He instead decided to return to the Jets, and begin the downslope of his career in one of the most liberal areas in the United States. The Democrats, who generally find climate change to be more of a troubling issue than the Republicans, would be in abundance during his stay in New York. It was the perfect atmosphere to become a symbol for climate change awareness, a metaphorical island being lost under the Republicans lead. What? Did I say the Republicans lead? What do they have to do with this? Go pop another bag of that popcorn and I’ll tell ya.
The owner of the New York Jets, Woody Johnson, was the fool at the expense of Revis’ diabolical political plan. He's the one who dished out the 70 million dollar contract in order to progress his football team. Revis had other plans. He planned to progress the environmental rhetoric in our country. Johnson has donated large sums of money to the campaigns of John Mccain, Mitt Romney, and worked for Jeb Bush before endorsing Donald Trump this past fall. He gave this 70 million to Revis Island only to see it figuratively drown in water along with his money.
Revis is a revolutionary. He has brought a pressing issue to the national stage, a stage that draws tens of millions of viewers each week. Instead of some hippy hanging from a roof with a half ass sign about the pipeline, he's brought it to the field. He has used what some thought was a clever nickname in the past and changed it into deeper symbolism than even your high school English teacher could have picked up on. And during all of this, he has been actively taking money away from top Republican donors.
I’m not here to tell you to like or dislike Revis more now, but I am telling you to WAKE UP. This is what the media doesn't want you to see! This is the scoop on my blog before some big breaking news story or tell-all with Revis featured. Darrelle Revis can't be this bad at football all of a sudden. Get out ahead of the story, show Darrelle we're not simpletons!